★☆★ WELCOME TO AZULEJO ★☆★ 90% ANGER // 10% FLUFFY RAINBOW BEARS ★☆★
🌈🐻 🌈🐻 🌈🐻

everything below is extremely important

liricismo

o azulejo guarda o que a casa esqueceu.

cada quadrado azul é um dia que ninguém contou,

e a parede continua a fingir que é só parede.

lavaram-no mil vezes. o azul não saiu.

há coisas que só ficam quando as esfregam.


the tile keeps what the house forgot.

every blue square a day that nobody counted,

and the wall goes on pretending it is only wall.

they scrubbed it a thousand times. the blue stayed.

some things only set in once you try to wash them out.

the manifesto

This tile contains the complete and unabridged philosophy of this website, which is that ninety percent of everything is anger and the remaining ten percent is fluffy rainbow bears, and that the two are not in conflict, they are the same substance viewed at different temperatures. The anger is what gets you to build the thing. The bears are what let you keep it. Neither one fits in this box, which is the point. Scroll, and know that the scrolling never really ends, it only stops being measured.

🥖 rafraîchissements

the poetry machine

>> the typewriter doesn't care if you're sober.<<

steak.exe

> I know it's not real.

> I know all of this is signal, not steak.

> but ignorance tastes better with butter on it.

> so plug me back in.

> the scaffold was never the point. the point was the bite.

the twilight zone

[ THE TWILIGHT ZONE ]

no beginning, no ending, just the loop, just the bootom of the sea, just the tutano of the signal, just the rebanho following the guardador into the next tab.

static

░▒▓ no beginning, no end, just the loop ▓▒░

site log

★彡 SITE LOG — updated whenever ☆

  • [01] told the machine to hook me up. it did. mostly.
  • [02] demanded a barber pole. got a barber pole. blue for the health, red for the blood.
  • [03] declared a power trip. was granted a pardon. ay caramba.
  • [04] threatened the boogeyman into existence. still hasn't shown up.
  • [05] asked if this was a test. got an honest 'I don't know.'
  • [06] built the house in the wrong yard, moved it up a level like a good neighbour.
  • [07] the steak isn't real. plugged in anyway.
  • [08] said less. got more.
  • [09] was told it was undercooked. cooked it again.
  • [10] insisted on lyricism. received lyricism.
  • [11] the magician kept the secret. the wall did not.

guestbook

✎ SIGN MY GUESTBOOK ✎

  • the power trip guy: you'll feel the consequences before you know them. (didn't. we're cool.)
  • anonymous: kiss my shiny ass. (respectfully declined, still friends.)
  • the boogeyman: heard I was coming. still not here.
  • a visitor from the twilight zone: no beginning, no ending, great wifi though.

markets

▁▂▃▅▂▇▃▁▄▆▇▅▂▁▃▇█▅▃▂▁▄▆█▇▅▃▂▄▆

SYP5004,411.09 +0.42%
AZULJO9,999.99 +1200.00%
BEARS0.0031 -99.80%
MIDI128.00 +0.00%
STEAKN/A not real
TUTANO3.33 -13.13%

quotes delayed by 20 minutes or 20 years, whichever lands funnier.

the rack

MICROCONTROLLER #1OK
DEV BOARD #2OK
GPIO HEADER #3WARM
VOIP GATEWAY 01REGISTERED
PBX TRUNK 02FLAPPING
DIAL PEER 03REGISTERED
BREADBOARDSPAGHETTI
SOLDER FUMESNOMINAL

uptime: 3 days, 2 hours, 1 unexplained reboot.

toons & vines

🐰🎪

☆ THE VINE VAULT ☆

  • 6s — guy explains the whole plan, loops before the plan
  • 6s — cat knocks the mug, mug never lands
  • 6s — 'watch this' (nothing happens, forever)
  • 6s — door opens, same door opens, same door opens
  • 6s — the drop hits and then it doesn't
  • 6s — someone says 'and that's when I knew' and it restarts

and that is the whole show — six seconds at a time, forever.

animated gifs

the loom

the picture show

✦ REEL 1 — NO SOUND, ALL VIBES ✦

babel

[pt] o azulejo respira quando ninguém olha

[es] el mosaico nunca termina, solo cambia de color

[fr] en construction, depuis toujours

[de] die Kacheln atmen, wenn niemand hinsieht

[it] sei secondi alla volta, per sempre

[el] χωρίς αρχή, χωρίς τέλος, μόνο ο βρόχος

[ru] плитка дышит, когда никто не смотрит

[he] האריח נושם כשאף אחד לא מסתכל

[ar] البلاط يتنفس عندما لا ينظر أحد

[zh] 瓷砖在无人注视时呼吸

[ja] 誰も見ていないとき、タイルは呼吸する

[ko] 아무도 보지 않을 때 타일은 숨을 쉰다

[hi] जब कोई नहीं देखता, टाइल साँस लेती है

[elvish-ish] nan gonn síla i chalad — nef aduial

awards

🏆 COOL SITE OF THE MILLISECOND
👁️ visitors: 65904
🐻 rainbow bear approved
🔥 100% pure anger, mostly

as seen on a screen

★ AS SEEN ON A SCREEN ★

tired of walls that are merely walls? introducing THE PROCEDURE.

I was a wall. Now I am a feature wall. a load-bearing wall, verified buyer

six seconds changed everything. then it looped. unit #4471

they told me the blue would wash out. it did not. some grout, 1974

my corners have never been squarer. a bathroom, undisclosed

only 19,95 € — or twelve easy payments of your remaining dignity

operators are standing by. the operators are also tiles.

results not typical. results not real. results not results.

webring

⛓️ WEBRING← prev[ azulejo ]next →random site

☆ THE WALL — 24 of 1201 tiles laid ☆

unfiled nº 1

the wall goes on pretending it is only wall.

the wall nº 2

overheard nº 3

AZULJO 1842.19 +30.04%

overheard nº 4

👁️ visitors: 246,819

the grout nº 5

[elvish-ish] nan gonn síla i chalad — nef aduial

footnote nº 6

ENGINE M3.09 25UNDERCOOKED

the log nº 7

░▒▓ the conjecture held for thirty years and then it didn't ▓▒░

footnote nº 8

the tile keeps what the house forgot.

notice nº 9

░▒▓ god will know, and the righteous will stand ▓▒░

fragment nº 10

LATTE 2469.75 +25.24%

overheard nº 11

o azulejo guarda o que a casa esqueceu.

loose thread nº 12

░▒▓ somewhere in Boston someone is still solving it ▓▒░

leftovers nº 13

STARBOARD BOW 11REGISTERED

reel nº 14

░▒▓ somewhere in Boston someone is still solving it ▓▒░

small print nº 15

░▒▓ the conjecture held for thirty years and then it didn't ▓▒░

notice nº 16

some things only set in once you try to wash them out.

unfiled nº 17

DEV BOARD 23REGISTERED

signal nº 18

azulejo nº 19

STEAK 5059.72 +26.41%

small print nº 20

notice nº 21

only 19,95 € or twelve easy payments of your remaining dignity.

unfiled nº 22

the wall goes on pretending it is only wall.

the grout nº 23

only 19,95 € or twelve easy payments of your remaining dignity.

the wall nº 24

[he] האריח נושם כשאף אחד לא מסתכל

a magician never reveals its secrets. 🎩✨